The Real Cuba Travel Guide

About Cuba

Many years ago Cuba was like the nightclub Bungalow 8 in NYC. Everyone knows about it, few have actually gotten in.  Havana is so close to the USA though a world away.  It wasn’t until just a few years ago that the country got the internet, although to get online is still not as easy we know it.  You must “buy the code” which means finding “a guy” in the square and purchase a little white paper with a username and password which will give you wifi by the hour. You feel as if you’re buying drugs while searching for this guy usual named Miguel or Jose.

Highlights of Havana

The food is not spectacular in Cuba.  Most restaurants in Havana are for tourists serving some type of fish, rice and beans.  The best food I had in the entire 2 weeks was in a little shack on the beach outside Havana in Mar Azul Playa del Este.  12 US dollars for a fresh grilled whole fish with salad and rice, this price included the 4 beers and one coconut rum I guzzled under my bamboo hut. We were sitting with only a few other people on a white sand beach with bright aqua blue water. Going to this beach was by far the best idea throughout the travel in Cuba.

In old town Havana, definitely take an afternoon visit to the bar La Bodeguita del Medio.  It’s very touristy but the good kind.  There are live musicians circling throughout the bar all day playing typical Cuban songs and everyone is drunk.  Standing room only in a tiny old bar while fake singing spanish songs with a bunch of Cuban Americans is the highlight of the day.

When you want to see where the rich people stay when they “vacation to Cuba” take a stroll to the Grand Hotel Manzana around sunset time and go up to the rooftop bar. It is expensive, NYC price cocktails but worth it to see a stunning different view of Havana with a pink sky in a beautiful setting. Feels like a Havana nights movie.

Where to stay in Havana

There are basically only 2 options. The historic center, Havana Vieja or Vedado, the nicer area by the sea.  This was the hardest decision for us not knowing anything about Cuba and we actually made the wrong choice.  We stayed in Vedado, thinking it was a better area, better nightlife, and more bars… this is true if you are going to Cuba to go clubbing and just hang out. Other than that there is really no reason to stay in Vedado as a tourist wanting to discover what Havana is about.  The historic center is what you are expecting when you come to Cuba.  The colorful alley ways, historic old buildings, music blasting from each bar, Che Guavara’s face graffitied on every other wall, Hemingway’s old watering holes, old vintage bookstores and museum like pharmacies.  This is the Cuba that’s worth seeing.

Airbnb is running the show in Cuba.  It has helped the people transcend from below poverty and starvation, to living a decent successful, hustling life.  It’s also part of the play, sometimes it feels as if all Cubans are phenomenal actors and everything there is orchestrated just to entertain you.  They call the home stays “Casa Particulares” which just means a room in someone’s home. The best one we found after a few trial and errors was called Casa Cristo Colonial in Havana Vieja that was really colorful, friendly, and well located. They have a few rooms so it’s more like a fancy private hostel.

Where to go outside Havana

Viñales. If you are in Cuba just for a week or so and want to see something else besides Havana Viñales is your best bet.  It’s about a three hour drive from the city in a cheap shared car which you can easily arrange with your casa. This is the rural farm land where the tobacco is grown to make the famous Cuban cigars.  Take a few days to relax from busy Havana and do a horse back ride through the hills to visit the tobacco farms and rum distillery. It’s definitely worth the trek and in the least, this is where you can buy all your hand made (cheap) cigars for your friends back in the US.

Tips to know about Cuba

Scams. Many people will come up to you on the street and start a very friendly conversation asking you if you have just arrived in Cuba, where you come from, and where you are going.  Where ever you tell them you want to go, they will tell you that “it’s closed“. Then they will walk with you and suggest you go to another place that is much better.  They are not trying to kill you.  They simply have a system that will give them a kickback when they bring tourists in to a bar. Kindof like a ghetto version of a pyramid scheme.  Your original destination is not closed, be friendly and say ‘no thank you’.

These schemes can get more elaborate.  As I mentioned above, Cubans are phenomenal actors.  One guy came up to us ON MY BIRTHDAY and offered to give us a tour of a famous alley a few blocks away where Hemingway hung out.  He was a nice good looking kid from the university with a blonde, even nicer lady friend.  They offered to take us to a bar that was a “real Hemingway” spot and have a cuba libre together. Of course I offered to pay as a pleasure…. To make a long story short, the bar charged us triple price for each rum and coke and then the kid ripped us off selling us triple priced cigars.  Moral of the story, be cool, just know that very friendly Cubans are 95% chance just trying to rip you off unfortunately.

Bargain for the vintage car rides. If you want to survive in Cuba you need to play the game. Cuba is not as cheap as you think.  Since they use two different types of dollars (Cuban dollars, and tourist Cuban dollars) there is a lot of room for scam.  I mean, I would do the same if I was a Cuban, I’m just warning you.

Bring the lightest clothes ever and a hat. I am a beach lover and I was forever dying of heat stroke in Cuba. It is very hot. Dress light and bring easy to walk shoes and a pair of sneaks. Heels are totally not necessary unless you are going to the club.

Beware of jellyfish. I got stung so badly up and down my entire ass and leg that a huge bottle of my own pee poured on myself did not help at all. What did work was 3 extra strong 9% German beers and a shot of rum poured into my mouth from some drunk Cubans on my way to the bathroom.

Don’t talk about communism or Fidel Castro. No one will tell you anything. I actually got kindly “let out” of a taxi on a random corner in the rain when I started questioning about who owns the mansions in Vedado if communism meant ‘all people are equal’. The only answer I got in general was that they “Love Fidel” and he is their god and father forever. RIP Castro.

Charity for Cuban children

I had read before I went that if you want to help you should bring school supplies for the children. I did this. It did not go as planned. I asked some parent on the street if I could give the group of children “some gifts”. They were happy to accept. Moments later I was physically attacked by 30 children ripping the bags and pencils out of my hands as well as half my dress off my body. It was like trying to feed a starving wolf pack one rabbit. I got attacked. This story would be sad if it weren’t for one of the fathers filming this catastrophe with his iPhone7. It’s great to bring stuff for the kids, just find a better way to do it than I did.